Cooking is like Love. Heartburn is part of the package.
Closeup: Auto Drip |
Closeup: Espresso
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Closeup: Rocket Sled |
Coffee. Makes the world go 'round.
On average, 50 million cups are consumed worldwide each day
(more on Mondays and days following major sporting events).
Whether you drink your brew straight up or decorated à la Starbucks, releasing an appropriate amount of
molecular caffeine is critical to creating the right tool for the task at hand.
To that end, I've put together a quick reference table showing in-store grinder settings, at-home
grinder duration and resulting strength.
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Scree
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1 sec
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N/A but good for loosening up clay soils
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Chunky
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2 sec
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N/A but excellent exfoliating facial scrub
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Coarse
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3-5 sec
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Tan dishwater - for pansies and managers
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Percolator
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5-10 sec
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Lousy yield without some extra boiling
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Auto Drip
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10-15 sec
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Mainstay of corporate cube farm prisoners
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Fine
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15-20 sec
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Will prevent sleep during speech by CEO
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Espresso
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20-30 sec
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Now we're talking! Direct Current.
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Dark Matter
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30-60 sec
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Great for talk show hosts/car salesmen
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Powdered Rocket Sled
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2-3 min
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Highly prized by IT pros, engineers
and software developers. Have fully
charged cardiac defibrillator close at hand.
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Measure: one level tablespoon per six ounces of water.
Laundry day option: six level tablespoons per ounce of water.
Sip and enjoy!
(Foil dinner on the grill)
Here's a lovely recipe for one of the world's most unique and convenient foods: SPAM. My alternate cooking method is a great way to
entertain guests on those snappy Autumn evenings.
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup beer (a stout irish or dark european is best)
1/4 cup stone ground mustard
1/2 tsp celery seed
8 new potatoes, sliced 1/4" (creamers are good too)
2 cups carrots, sliced 1/4"
1 large onion, thinly sliced (Vidalias are best)
12-oz can SPAM, cut into 12 slices
In small bowl combine brown sugar, beer, mustard, and celery seed.
Divide vegetables and SPAM into equal portions, arranging each portion on a 18x12"
piece of foil; drizzle mustard sauce over each and fold up to form 5x4" packet, sealing well.
Place over medium hot coals, grilling 45 to 60 minutes or until vegetables are tender.
Alternate cooking method: While comfortably seated at least 12 feet away from grill, deliver 4-second bursts
from recreational flamethrower every 20 seconds, for the first five minutes. Then decrease to 3-second bursts,
delivered every minute. Check often and be sure cooking area is well ventilated.
Yield: 6 servings.
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